The Maumee Bay Ice Breakers Bar

When we booked the retreat, we called ahead to ask if Vineyard pastors had been reinstated after the 2024 incident. The initial answer was a theologically accurate but practically unhelpful "already, but not yet." After some further negotiation, Van Cochrane got on the phone personally, promised the head bartender he would take full responsibility for the group, and gave his solemn word that Joel would not be acting up again.

The bartender remains skeptical. We remain optimistic. The bar remains open, pending good behavior. Local Ohio craft beers are back on the menu, tabs are open, and Van is fully aware he now owns whatever happens next. Joel has been spoken to. Joel says it wasn't even his fault last time. The bartender says that's exactly what he said last time.

The Fire Pits

After the Great Marshmallow Standoff of 2024 led management to conclude that Vineyard pastors should not be trusted to share an open flame in groups larger than eight. Consider this our probationary period.

Pit One is for people who want to sit quietly, stare at the fire, and pretend they're processing something spiritually significant.

Pit Two is for people who will inevitably start relitigating the "already not yet" conversation from the bar, this time with sticks. Choose wisely, or rotate — Laurie has asked that nobody be banned from both at the same time.

Please bring your S'mores but not any type of fire accelerant. Joel has been asked, again, to just enjoy the fire.